Today is all about the big beasts — only, the beast that interests my friend is very different from the ones I want to see.

His dwells in an 18th-century mansion five miles northwest of a market town; or at least he does in a streaming TV show set in the 1980s.

Mine are associated with another mansion, built in the second half of the 16th century and nearly four miles south-southeast of the centre of the town. Their forebears moved here in 1966 but don’t live in the house itself — things would get very messy if they did.

So what will we do about these two competing claims on our time?

“Why should they be rivals?” Friend asks. “We’ll visit both. Though I hope you don’t mind if we go to my place first.”

Friend, meanwhile, stocks up on a local cider that was launched in 2007.

Then it’s time for the lair of his big beast. However, we can’t see much as it’s not open to the public, unfortunately, so Friend announces that he’s driving to a town 28 miles north-northeast of it, to see more of the TV show’s locations.

“But what about my mansion?” I roar. “It’s the main attraction round here — and you said that we’d see both places!”

“Sorry to disappoint old chap,” Friend purrs like a big cat. “But good things seldom come to those who wait.”

The winner and guest will stay for three nights, B&B, in a Panoramic Room at Maslina Resort, on the Croatian island of Hvar. Above the sparkling waters of Maslinica Bay, the five-star Relais & Chateaux property combines chic, contemporary design with a powerful sense of place.

Guests can relax in the earth-toned rooms, book a treatment at Pharomatiq Wellness or join yoga classes, olive oil tastings and tours, including an exploration of the island’s lavender industry.

The Terra Restaurant and A•Bay Beach Bar draw heavily on produce from their organic kitchen garden, as well as local orchards, farms and fisheries. For more see maslinaresort.com.

The prize includes a £300 voucher for return Split flights and Hvar foot-passenger ferry crossings for the winner and guest. It must be taken before October 15, 2026, subject to availability and excluding July and August.