“My first law of Christmas shopping is this,” announces my friend. “Always know what you’re going to buy before you get there.”

I do know. But I must do some tasting of it first — to be sure whose version I prefer.

“And my second law of Christmas shopping is to do it all in one place,” he adds. “Not meandering through a vale like this.”

Clearly, Friend has been inspired by a 17th-century polymath (mother: Hannah) whose school we visited earlier. It’s in a town 58 miles north-northwest of the university in which, later, he was big cheese. It also sits east of an area rich in dairy farms — and creamy milk. I’m as eager as a beaver to explore it. He is not. His only goal is to walk the gardens of a hilltop gothic revival castle, six miles west-southwest of the school.

First stop, seven miles west of the castle, is a village with a market cross. It’s one of five local places where the protected-status product I’m buying is made. We’ll only visit three: but even so, Friend has worked himself into a blue funk, worrying we’ll be late for the gardens. But we’re not going far. What’s more, I’ve come prepared — with accompanying oatcakes, dates, walnuts and pears.

“At least you’ve followed my third law of Christmas shopping,” purrs Friend when we reach the castle’s car park. “Bring snacks.” Then he looks troubled. “Although in this case my first law of digestion also applies.”

“What’s that?” I ask. “Too many dates can make me gassy,” he sighs.

I let him walk the gardens alone.

The questions
1. What was the polymath’s surname?
2. What is the name of the first-mentioned village?

The prize
The winner and guest will stay for four nights, B&B, at Calabash, a luxurious Relais & Châteaux hotel that sits on the beach at L’Anse Aux Epines in Grenada. Family-owned-and-run since 1987, it has all-suite accommodation in a leafy garden setting, as well as three exceptional restaurants, including the fine-dining Rhodes, where one dinner for two (excluding drinks) is included in the prize. Guests will also enjoy the spa and water-sports facilities, as well as exploring the island’s secret coves and lush interior. For details, visit calabashhotel.com.

Return economy flights from London to Grenada come courtesy of Audley Travel, who have been creating bespoke holidays for more than 25 years. Visit audleytravel.com.

The prize must be taken between March 1 and July 1 or November 4 and December 20, subject to availability and excluding public holidays.